How do we raise our next generation in Hong Kong? "To Believe" or "To Observe"

Future depends on what we are doing for ourselves and our next generation today. If we want to have a better future as a group, a race or mankind, it also depends on how we raise our next generation today.

Remember when you're a kid, you had a lot of imagination and enthusiasm of life but some of us may probably do not even have this little fortune. In time, something has changed. After you got older and have enough experience (good and bad) through our education system, relationship with others, work, etc, you developed a personality package solution including various kinds of indoctrination to handle your life that you believe that can help you survive well in this society. However life could always give us challenge to shake our stable data or doctrines or beliefs that we're indoctrinated or brainwashed to uphold for years to put us into confusion all of a sudden. Worse, for some instances, you might feel that you're betrayed because the reality or outcome was not something you had been told so that you had believed for many years. How could we come out of such confusion? It is common for many people to simply grab another “belief” from another source, or any other “seeming to look good solution” to help us at least to get out of fear and insecurity… as a solution to confusion. However, how long does it last before this stable datum was shaken again from life?

I remember what I enjoyed most in high school was the time I wrote my weekly journals (which was part of our regular school assignment) as the other time I was very much told to read and memorize the textbook so to have good grades in examination (which was not a difficult job to me at that time). I used to write down my thought and my dreams in my weekly journals. It's actually a very fulfilling experience to me as I could ask and look many things than what they looked on the surface. Unfortunately, when I looked up the sky, there’s not a lot to see as we’re surrounded by a lot of high-rise buildings in Hong Kong. Was there more than what I saw on the surface? Our school system did not really teach us how to study, how to observe, how to evaluate and how to be responsible for what we honestly observe and tell what it’s.

If we could observe what it’s there correctly, we could be able to be responsible for what we say it’s there. But to believe something that we have not observed ourselves in the first place, we can’t be responsible and therefore we felt betrayed when the reality did not come out what we believed. Worse, we could use it to blame others to tell us to believe them so. But look, feeling of betrayal came about only when you finally could observe what’s there no longer true. True belief is better come after our own observation and evaluation as it is more real and solid.

So you see the security to live better here is to know how to know and how to observe but not what one's told to believe. If what we had observed might not be right, we could admit our mistakes to find out what we have not observed correctly and so we could move on to find better truth to help ourselves and others.

The better way to move out from any confusion is first to find out where you are and to look what stable datum have been shaken to put you into confusion in the first place. The solution to any problem is the problem itself. Any solution adding more to the problem is not the solution.

We may better ask our kids what their purposes in study are. Do they want to improve their perception so they can observe better, evaluate better, decide and act better for better abilities to achieve their goals and purposes in life? Or do they simply believe our system that they need to have good grades in exam, so that they could go to better school, better university, better career and better life? If you had observed both ways, which way do you want to raise your kids? I hope you and your children can make the right choice.

P.S. Here is some more information that may help you. You may download the booklet and do an online course on raising children at http://www.volunteerministers.org/#/solution/raising-children.

What leadership can we depend on for the future of Hong Kong?

When looking closely a lot of problems and conflicts in our Hong Kong community on many issues recently, there often exist a lack of observation by differentiation, inabilities to recognize the source of problems, misallocation or misassignment of responsibilities for the parties involved, addition of lies to alter the real picture and therefore problems seemed unsolvable. Let's look further:

1) Use of identification (by making everything in the incident the same value with each other to have no difference at all) method as a simple problem solving solution : For example, we assume the identification of all cases presented by “Lehman Brothers mini-bond investors” as all misled by high pressure selling methods by all related banks in Hong Kong so we have legitimate cases that we could assign 100% responsibilities to the banks, HKMA, HKSEC including their failure in regulating the business of the banks in Hong Kong; and the affected investors are totally irresponsible including the neglect of their own right and responsibilities to do inspection and regulating function on any of their actions.

It looked like a simple solution by making all other people totally responsible and the affected investor can be fully compensated for the loss from the banks as agents of the investment products.

Unfortunately this is how the minds of many people work to think in terms of identification as a solution method in life. For example, a woman who failed in her marriage and came to the conclusion that “every man is no good” when experiencing all these painful emotion. From there on, she would not try to differentiate and observe each man but by using this simple solution of “every man is no good” to avoid the previous painful emotion. However, she at the same time had lost the ability to look, no longer able to observe every man she met correctly and gave up her own chance or right to find the right man. If we look closely everything in our universe, no two things are exactly the same. Take two apples in front of you, examine it closely and you know they are not the same exactly in all aspects. So you can see the disadvantage of "identification thinking" in reducing our abilities to observe. Only when one can improve his ability to observe and differentiate, one can really enjoy any experience in life. When one can observe correctly, he or she can decide and act correctly.

Followed with this seemingly simple solution method for the case of "Lehman Brother bond investors in Hong Kong", then one may ask who had failed to regulate the HKMA and HKSEC in the first place? If we cannot find the ultimate source which had created the problem by failed regulation and supervision in the first place, one cannot really solve the problem. So one can ask and track it further down the parties including the legislative council, every Hong Kong public, Lehman Brothers, Investment Rating companies, US government, IMF, World Bank, etc and possibly one may even ask why God does not regulate us to cause so much problems? But don't you think the truth of the matter is when you examine the history of man that God only help those who help themselves.

Responsibility includes effort one put on himself and others to get thing done correctly. Misallocation or misassignment of responsibilities will therefore create problems with confusion and things get messier.

If anyone of us fails to take his or her own responsibility, it simply adds the lies to the picture and will further reduce the abilities and effectiveness of the community concerned. Don’t you think our community will only do well if everyone takes his own responsibility? And hopefully you can see why the workable solution of the “Lehman Brother Mini-Bond investor” case is the proper assignment of responsibilities which should be the purpose of any needed investigation.

2) “You are right by being the opponent with opposing voices all the time” unless....

It is true that for any opinion or viewpoint that we believe is true or helpful, we will insist on it and make sure it's heard and even to be implemented.

Do you notice that it is easier to communicate with anyone to tell you how right they are rather than how wrong they could be in many things? Ask yourself or anyone around you and I am sure you'll find a lot of examples. Even when they could admit they're wrong but they will still defend their being right to be wrong with a lot of reasons why they are doing so.

So you see that it is no use to debate with anyone whether he or she is right or not...but rather ask them to look whether the action is based on the greatest good to the greatest number of people involved (which could include self, family, group, race, mankind, earth). The true leaders of the community can assume all the viewpoints from all parties involved and make the decision based on the greatest good to the greatest number of people concerned or the least harm to the greatest number of the people concerned.

It's therefore less valuable to put oneself (like some political parties and their members) always into the position of being the opponent to the government or any real or imagined enemies when expressing one's opinion; or simply acting on behalf of a small niche of the community for some other reasons. One cannot achieve the goal of really helping the community with a more sustainable survival value in this manner by being the "opposing party" alone all the time; without offering solution to create value to the most people concerned.

What we need today is the true leaders who can recognize the source of problems, decide and take action according to the greatest good to the greatest number of people concerned.

What leadership can we depend on for the future of Hong Kong? Can we work together for a better Hong Kong for ourselves and our next generation? It is time for each of us to examine our own responsibilities and do something about it.

No matter how bad the situation is, something can be done about it!

We are living in a tough world with a lot of challenges every day. We are also facing a lot of issues including health, communication, job, finance, relationship, etc.; that often demand us to have workable knowledge and good control if we are willing to take our own responsibilities in all these areas at the same time. Many times if we fail in any of these areas, it can be simply the omission of any or all of them: Knowledge, Control and Responsibility on ourselves and others.

One can choose either not to care what is going on that nothing can be done about it; or care about himself and others that something can be done about it. How well we are doing actually depends on how much we care by bringing good control in our environment too. You may agree so if you examine the above with your life.

I am glad to find a site at http://www.volunteerministers.org/#/courses where it has recently released free training online and free booklet download. These are the training materials to train many volunteer ministers worldwide. You can do some free online training to help any area which has drawn most of your attention lately; and you can use the materials to help your family, friends and associates on those areas that they are concerned most.

You can first quickly identify the idea you have immediate or most concern at http://www.volunteerministers.org/#/solutions/questionaire-main. It has listed out 12 areas: marriage problem, trouble in relationship with others, raising children, difficulties on the job, stress-anxiety-depression, understanding life, handling finance, problem studying and learning, communication skills, health, problem with drugs, integrity and honesty.

For example, if you feel you would like to “remedy financial ups and downs” or “improve the conditions of your finance”, you can choose the button: “handling finance”, and it will suggest you to do a free online course: “Ethics and conditions”. Many people have misunderstanding for moral, ethics and justice. This training will help you to have a newer understanding that you can use them distinctively and effectively in life; and most important you can learn the tools and formula how to stably improve the conditions of your life.

Something can be done about it. Change with good feeling will occur when you feel you can do something on any situation you are in and do it. It is often far more therapeutic than feeling being the victim of something, seeking sympathy or simply blaming one’s luck.

I hope you will enjoy it. Let me know how you like the free training course. If you like it, share it.

If you need help for the materials in Chinese, please email me.

Executives should know their risks if turning their anxieties or stress to be treated with "Psychiatric Drugs"

Today, I read an article from a newspaper about the anxiety treatment as advised by a Hong Kong psychiatrist, (Nov 7, 2008, online version at http://www.takemehome.com.hk/epaper.php ; with a picture clip posted above) with a new drug," Lyrica". It reminded me similar articles published by other newspapers recently in Hong Kong especially after the financial tsunami.

It has been an increasing concern that people may not be able to deal with the sudden change of loss or threatened loss that caused a higher or unusual degree of anxiety, stress and fear, especially like the recent sharp change of our global economic environment. If the adult cannot handle their emotion properly, it could affect the younger children at home. It was sad to know the increasing figure of kids under fourteen years old from 14,348 cases in 2001 to be 22,480 cases in 2007 asking help from our public mental institution in Hong Kong.

However, do we know all the risks associated with psychiatric treatment on the symptoms of anxiety, stress or fear?

First, we need to look what have caused people to have anxiety or stress. One of the standard answers from many psychiatrists is "chemical imbalance." But what is chemical imbalance? What chemicals in our brain that can contribute imbalance? How much imbalance can be dangerous to cause us the anxiety that we cannot handle our normal routine in life?

If you ask any psychiatrist, you will be surprised that they cannot give you any specific answers. If they really know, the drug companies will not continue to invent new drugs in order to find out what the chemicals they would like to inject into the bodies to achieve the optimal chemical balance without any side effects.

Even on the recent paper submitted for the discussion by the Hong Kong Legislative Council Panel on Health Services on 22, November, 2007 ( LC Paper No. CB(2)373/7-08(01), it stated that,"Mental illness is a complex health problem. The causes of mental and behavioral problems are still not much understood."

Workable solution cannot be obtained if we do not know exactly how the mind works, what the definition of mental illness is, what the chemical imbalance is, what the optimal chemical balance is, what the exact formula to achieve the optimal balance is, and what actually the optimal state of mind that they would like to help their patients to achieve with the goals that people can be helped to get better.

Please go to this site to watch this video about chemical imbalance at http://www.cchr.org/#/museum/introfor more information.

Second, you will always hear from many psychiatrists that psychiatric drugs are needed for treatment if you have unusual anxiety or stress or fear or any other behavioral symptoms; though they still have many unknown in the field of mind. Unfortunately, the main stream of our media in Hong Kong in a way endorsed this method by interviewing psychiatrists for advice especially at the times of crisis; without any report on the abuse or sides effects of such treatment.

On the same government paper as mentioned in the above, it also suggested that "psychiatric treatment and drugs are needed" or "must be treated by psychiatrists" but without any full evaluation of the psychiatric methods and treatment with its associated risks to be used or any recommendation of any other alternative treatment to the public.

Though many patients suffer from many sides effects of psychiatric drugs, the common defense is that they should use newer drugs which however are more expensive that normal people cannot afford especially they have to be psychiatric drugs for a very long period of time, and in most cases, they are basically life long treatment.

I was curious about this new drug: Lyrica and so I went to the web site of FDA to do some research at https://www.accessdata.fda.gov/scripts/medwatch. I typed "Lyrica" on the search box, and found an article on patient information in which it mentioned:

LYRICA is a prescription medicine used in adults, 18 years and older, to treat:
• pain from damaged nerves (neuropathic pain) that happens with diabetes
• pain from damaged nerves (neuropathic pain) that follows healing of
shingles (a painful rash that comes after a herpes zoster infection)
• partial seizures when taken together with other seizure medicines
• fibromyalgia

You can read the entire article, and you may come to the same conclusion how it is possible for the recommendation of this drug to treat anxiety, stress or fear.

To know more about psychiatric drugs (as there are so many), please go to this site to watch this video at http://www.cchr.org/#/videos

So next time before you or your friend or your children is committed to any psychiatric drug treatment, get the name of the drug and do your own research to know all the risks.

Rather simply taking and believing any advice from so called "experts", it is time for us to consult our own observation, evaluation and make our conclusion as only then we can be responsible for what we know; as "belief" is simply a mechanism used to assign responsibility to "others". By getting our own knowledge, we can be held responsible for our own personal integrity.

With all the possible risks like "poisoned milk", "poisoned egg", "poisoned investment instruments", etc in our environment, it is time that we owe our own responsibility to really "look" rather than "listen" in many issues that can affect us and our next generation, especially on the issue of "psychiatric drug treatment" that the damage cannot be recovered easily.

To help us recover from any damages brought by financial tsunami to our economy and our life in Hong Kong, we need more able people with awareness to confront our problems and find better solutions. It will not help our people but only reduce our awareness level if we let a lot of us especially our executives and our children to handle their anxieties or stress by psychiatric drugs.

P.S. There is a free E-book on How To Get Off Psychiatric Drugs Safely at http://www.theroadback.org/workbook.htm from the Road back international with the hope and solution to handle the adverse effect of having taken psychiatric drugs. Hopefully soon we will have our own physician offering the same solution in Hong Kong!